‘This place seems super cool! I hope I get in here.’ I exclaim as I reach the gates of my home for 5 years. Of course, I didn’t know then.
Fast forward 7 months. First day of college. I have the same excitement as I walk in. All new (confused) faces. Everyone put up their most sane and well behaved selves on display; So did I.
Then it began. “The Saga of Anagha trying to be like others, so that she would fit in.” I cursed my usual introvert self, and tried hard. Topics I had no clue about, became my favorite ones. The need to impress people grew everyday. The narcissist in me who thrived on the attention, suddenly didn’t get any and was, I quote, “depressed.”
The weekend arrived and took me home.
The following Monday, I was a changed person. “I tried. I can’t anymore.” I thought, if I didn’t try people around would magically want to talk to me. Playing hard-to-get with around 120 people of my batch. As I walked over to my academic block, the building that once astounded me, now seemed like a magic trick you knew the secrets to.
I took solace in the library. I assumed, if I spent most of my time there, I wouldn’t need to talk to anyone and also, I would score good grades. Flawless plan.
But , my library turned out to be a place that would hear my whining and complaints about my college life, to my ‘real friends’ – states away.
Library: where I grew closer to people across countries, than the girl in the bed beside me.
The weekend knocked on my door and I ran home.
The following monday, I was a changed person, once again. I broke away from my cell(phone) and started conversations. The only difference was, this time, it was the real Anagha and not the Cool girl Anagha. (Although, the real Anagha was pretty cool too, thank you very much.) Steering the conversations into my forté, I thought to myself ‘ I could survive here afterall. ‘
The real Anagha impressed people, without even trying.
The weekend had to pull me home this time.
The following monday, everyone was a changed person. The obligatory smiles had turned into warm ‘Good morning!‘s ‘
I did it! I cracked the code to happiness! The secret was to be myself. ‘Not really a secret is it?’
And at the end of the rollercoaster ride that was ‘The first month of college’ , when the last weekend was waiting at the gate, I heard it;
‘Hey, will you stay here for the weekend?’