A new year, a new me. 

A new year,  a new me!

I cried out to the world

But do you see

Do you see how vague was that phrase. 

I did too. 

However,  the most magical thing about adulthood is, 

You learn something new every moment, 

And so imagine;

Imagine what 366 days could do. 

A year ago, 

I was a different person. 

A person who was afraid, 

A person desperate to get out

A person unsatisfied. 

A year ago, 

My happiness did not  depend on my actions,

It was stuck in the hands of others

Friends, family all the same;

played hide and seek with it. 

My worth wasn’t determined by myself

I looked at them for approval

Needless to say, I didn’t think I was worth that much

In a world of diamonds and rubies, I was a pebble. 

But oh its a wonder

What 366 days can do to someone

A year ago, I gave up hope

I decided, I was destined to be mediocre,

But these 366  days was a wake up call

Not exactly a call; more of a slap in the face

Each of the 366 days taught me how to be a young adult in this world. 

It taught me to be passionate, 

Be adventurous, be spontaneous. 

I learnt to be kind to strangers, 

Show my affection and not bottle them up, 

To try new things, to take some risks. 

The past 366 days taught me to keep my happiness in myself

My happiness belonged to myself.

It taught me not everyone will love you and that’s okay

The important thing was that I loved myself. 

That everyday I looked in the mirror and said, 

I’m happy to be myself 

Finally,you see

It dawned on me, 

You needn’t wait for a new year, 

To turn your life around. 

My new year wasn’t January 1st

My new year is today, 

My new year is tomorrow

My new year starts whenever i make a change, 

My new year is everyday. 

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4 weeks.

‘This place seems super cool! I hope I get in here.’ I exclaim as I reach the gates of my home for 5 years. Of course, I didn’t know then.

Fast forward 7 months. First day of college. I have the same excitement as I walk in. All new (confused) faces. Everyone put up their most sane and well behaved selves on display; So did I.

Then it began. “The Saga of Anagha trying to be like others, so that she would fit in.” I cursed my usual introvert self, and tried hard. Topics I had no clue about, became my favorite ones. The need to impress people grew everyday. The narcissist in me who thrived on the attention, suddenly didn’t get any and was, I quote, “depressed.”

The weekend arrived and took me home.

The following Monday, I was a changed person. “I tried. I can’t anymore.” I thought, if I didn’t try people around would magically want to talk to me. Playing hard-to-get with around 120 people of my batch. As I walked over to my academic block, the building that once astounded me, now seemed like a magic trick you knew the secrets to.

I took solace in the library. I assumed, if I spent most of my time there, I wouldn’t need to talk to anyone and also, I would score good grades. Flawless plan.
But , my library turned out to be a place that would hear my whining and complaints about my college life, to my ‘real friends’ – states away.
Library: where I grew closer to people across countries, than the girl in the bed beside me.

The weekend knocked on my door and I ran home.

The following monday, I was a changed person, once again. I broke away from my cell(phone) and started conversations. The only difference was, this time, it was the real Anagha and not the Cool girl Anagha. (Although, the real Anagha was pretty cool too, thank you very much.) Steering the conversations into my forté, I thought to myself ‘ I could survive here afterall.
The real Anagha impressed people, without even trying.

The weekend had to pull me home this time.

The following monday, everyone was a changed person. The obligatory smiles had turned into warm ‘Good morning!‘s ‘
I did it! I cracked the code to happiness! The secret was to be myself. ‘Not really a secret is it?’

And at the end of the rollercoaster ride that was ‘The first month of college’ , when the last weekend was waiting at the gate, I heard it;

‘Hey, will you stay here for the weekend?’

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